Many thoughts run through my mind these days.
Some I share here, some I don’t.
Unless you have been a caregiver for a sick loved one, you cannot know what it is like.
Every day is different.
At every turn, there are surprises. I don’t even mean medical ones.
People are just funny. And strange.
My husband is a private person in many respects. You won’t see me posting pictures of him walking up and down the halls. You won’t read specific details of his illness here. After all, those are his details to share. Or not.
I’m a participant in his journey, but here, in this space, my goal is not to tell his news. It is not a place for updating the world on his journey.
My goal for this blog in these days is to keep recording for me. It may seem relevant. It may not. The act of writing right now is an act of defiance toward cancer. It is one of my many ways of coping. Others? Prayer, laughter, art, poetry, conversations.
This blog celebrates its 10 month birthday tomorrow. My goal was to write something here each day for a year, then sort through it all to see what it all meant. My goal was to encourage.
Themes started to emerge: God, family, friends. Art, writing, nature.Teaching.
The big surprise theme right now is cancer. Somehow, though, encouragement is determined to win.
This blog was never intended to be a place for voyeurism, particularly at the expense of human dignity and privacy.
The people who need to know specifics already know.
I have a record of his journey, but it is for my eyes. If there comes a time I think it would benefit someone who also fights this disease, I’ll share it.
What matters has nothing to do with details like names of medicines, names of doctors, numbers of stages, particulars of treatment.
What matters is knowing that our family and friends are supporting my husband in his effort to get well.
What matters is that today we celebrated another milestone.
What matters is the sunset we watched tonight. Then, the moon through the window.
What matters is the prayers that are said. Really, that is the only thing that matters…
So, I’ll end with one tonight:
Thank you for the gift of family and friends. Thank you for the people who look here for comfort or inspiration.
Thank you for the reminder that you alone are what matters.
You guide us, lead us, care for us in every situation. It does not matter what people ask or think or say. What matters is that your will be done.