It’s strange knowing I’ll categorize this entry as both cancer and beginnings.
But that’s exactly what I will do.
This blog has taken me (and many of you with me) through 365 days of wondering and wandering, of questions and answers, of surprises–good and terrifying. Such is this life.
I started here searching for a better way to do things, a determination to pay attention. That paid off.
Now, my husband’s cancer diagnosis was nowhere on the radar during those early months, but writing here has helped me notice, remember, focus.
I awoke this morning to see the “one year anniversary” WordPress icon on my notification page. That felt good.
It felt even better to know I was able to meet my own goal of an entry per day for a year.
We need goals. Now I need some new ones.
One I’ve mentioned before: read your blogs more often.
There are others…brewing in the back of my mind. God is answering prayers and continues to be in charge of my life, so all isn’t revealed just yet.
So, today is not an ending at all. It’s a new step forward, knowing these daily entries helped me focus–even in the midst of tragic days, I persevered.
Here, a piece that speaks to me today, from Frederick Buechner:
“The time is ripe for looking back over the day, the week, the year, and trying to figure out where we have come from and where we are going to, for sifting through the things we have done and the things we have left undone for a clue to who we are and who, for better or worse, we are becoming. But again and again we avoid the long thoughts….We cling to the present out of wariness of the past. And why not, after all? We get confused. We need such escape as we can find. But there is a deeper need yet, I think, and that is the need—not all the time, surely, but from time to time—to enter that still room within us all where the past lives on as a part of the present, where the dead are alive again, where we are most alive ourselves to turnings and to where our journeys have brought us. The name of the room is Remember—the room where with patience, with charity, with quietness of heart, we remember consciously to remember the lives we have lived.”
― from A Room Called Remember
So, yes– “not all the time, surely, but from time to time”– I’ll return to this familiar place and say what’s on my mind, maybe tell a story from the past, hopefully continue to record my deep gratitude for the small things.
Writers need audiences. Good ones. I found mine here. And while I’m still writing every day, I’m ready to spend time being an audience, too.
Glad I’m not saying goodbye…just See ya a few days a week.
I’ll end tonight with a few favorite words, once again from Frederick Buechner:
“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”