June 23. I never knew there was “a special day” for widows until I became one.
And now that I have lived as one and survived as one, I am ready to be a voice for anyone who thinks they cannot go one more step, take one more breath, answer one more question, relive one more memory.
Yes, you can.
Except for those questions. Sometimes the answer is just “No.” (You really do not have to answer all those questions.)
You get to use what my dearest friend gave me in my darkest days: free passes.
I bestow them upon you today, on this June 23, 2016. They never expire. They never run out. Here’s how they work:
When you start thinking —
Maybe I should have…
Well, they wanted to know…
Then, I said…
Could I have…
OR ANY version of any question–
Remember. Ah. I have a free pass. It’s my absolution. My getaway. My freedom. My (insert your favorite phrase).
And you give yourself a break.
Because you have experienced a hell unlike any other and everything has changed. And for the moments you can remember to, you are going to love yourself and let it go. Whatever it is, whatever you thought or said or did not say or said too loud or whatever is causing you to second guess…
Free. Pass. Time.
You will survive the horrible days.
They will backtrack and blindside you and send you crashing. Get back up.
You are not alone.
Find your people who give free passes or let them find you. Or be one who gives them. It works every way.
My heart is with you today and my prayers are with you everyday.
Every. Single. Day.