"Whatever you think you can do, or believe you can do, begin it, because action has magic, grace, and power in it." Goethe

Leave a comment

International Widows Day 2016

June 23. I never knew there was “a special day” for widows until I became one.

And now that I have lived as one and survived as one, I am ready to be a voice for anyone who thinks they cannot go one more step, take one more breath, answer one more question, relive one more memory.

Yes, you can.

 Except for those questions. Sometimes the answer is just “No.” (You really do not have to answer all those questions.)

You get to use what my dearest friend gave me in my darkest days: free passes.

I bestow them upon you today, on this June 23, 2016. They never expire. They never run out. Here’s how they work:

When you start thinking —

Maybe I should have… 

Well, they wanted to know…

Then, I said…

Could I have…

OR ANY version of any question–

Remember. Ah. I have a free pass. It’s my absolution. My getaway. My freedom. My (insert your favorite phrase). 

And you give yourself a break.

Because you have experienced a hell unlike any other and everything has changed. And for the moments you can remember to, you are going to love yourself and let it go. Whatever it is, whatever you thought or said or did not say or said too loud or whatever is causing you to second guess…

Free. Pass. Time.

You will survive the horrible days. 
They will backtrack and blindside you and send you crashing. Get back up.

You are not alone. 

Find your people who give free passes or let them find you. Or be one who gives them. It works every way.

My heart is with you today and my prayers are with you everyday.

 Every. Single. Day.


Friday’s Five

My typical Friday post is to share five things I am grateful for. It is never difficult to think of them. Most weeks, the difficulty is in deciding which ones to share.

This week, though.

This week, I realize the true treasure inside of me that looks for the good. I take no credit for it. I know it is pure grace.

I am appalled at the lack of love and compassion for fellow human beings. HUMAN. BEINGS. My list is a little different this week.

This day I am grateful that:
1. I believe in human dignity. (I will show respect to everyone I meet.)

2. I stand with the marginalized and the suffering. (I will not turn from those in pain.)

3. I pray for the grieving. (Their journey is unending and it will affect us all.)

4. I know that love will win. It is not a cliche. (But it is an action word.)

5. I want to help. (I will actively look for ways to do that.)


Thomas Carlyle said, “Do the duty which lies nearest to thee…the next duty will become clearer.”

Step by step, we will create a better world. Join me…please.


















Leave a comment

Friday’s Five

An 80+ year old man in an aqua shirt. Killing it.

A place called Kenny’s in Dallas. My. Gosh.

Google Maps. Thank you for directing well.

Colored notebook paper. 

A wooden clothespin with a tiny drawn star. Meanings…

Happy remembering of good things and good times.