A couple of years ago, I wrote a poem about grief. It was based on a piece of art by the same title. I thought it was good. After all, I’d known various forms of grief by that time: loss of parents, other close relatives, my best friend.
Sudden as well as expected…I’d witnessed that passing. I’d seen it all.
There is really nothing to compare to the loss of a spouse. It is as unique a grief as the relationship was.
It is not easy.
It is undeniably the worst loss I’ve experienced. Friends ask me how I am, but I rarely tell them the truth.
If you have experienced it, you know why.
It is a truth that has no words.
No one can help you. You are still left to wake, to function, to survive. And you really do have to do this alone. You learn how.
The best help? Tell the grieving person,
“I’m praying for you.”
Then do it. Really.
Pray without asking. Pray because God puts that person on your heart. Pray because it is the only way to help. To really help.
It helps in ways that are unimaginable.
God does hear. He does listen. He provides the grace for the day.
I’m writing through these days, journaling the fog, the sunlight, the despair, the joy.
Knowing this world is temporary.
I’ll see Sam again.
We are not created for this world. We are created for the next one.
We are merely in training.
I am here to tell you, the training is not easy, but on this Palm Sunday, as we enter the holiest week of the year, I can certainly say I have not sweated blood.
The Lord sees my struggles; He knows my thoughts. He alone numbers my days. I am determined to keep asking Him to help me. He has not deserted me yet.
Faith is not a game. It is for real. God continues to amaze me in ways I know are part of a bigger plan. He sends me answers through His people, through His creation, through my willingness to listen. He sends me moments of blessings every single day: so many.
Grief is an undeniable suffering. There is no doubt. But, the truth is that suffering is temporary, too.
Better days are coming. I’ve always said it. I believe it. It is the truth.